


And Yet, It Hurts

by AnotherHomosexualMale



Category: Detentionaire (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Gay Character, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27553312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherHomosexualMale/pseuds/AnotherHomosexualMale
Summary: Biffy has had feelings for Lee almost as long as they’ve known each other. Lee is both not interested, and Biffy’s best friend.And that's okay.Right?
Relationships: Biffy T. Goldstein/Lee Ping, Biffy T. Goldstein/Original Male Character, Lee Ping/Original Female Character
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I hearing about this show just now?

The thing that Biffy finds out pretty quickly is that Lee Ping gets really physical when he’s been drinking. Nothing aggressive, nothing creepy, just very touchy-feely toward anyone within touching distance. Biffy figures he must somehow rein it in at parties, because he doubts that most of the girls would appreciate this dude with bi-colored hair draping himself over them, and most of the guys even less so.

But when Lee’s back in the apartment, there’s nothing to stop him but the vague guilt Biffy feels every time Lee leans against his shoulder or wraps an arm around his waist, and Biffy doesn’t push him away. Biffy probably shouldn’t feel guilty—he’s sure Lee would be doing this even if he knew the way Biffy felt about him (unless he tries not to for fear of leading Biffy on, because Lee really is just that nice of a guy)— but Biffy can’t shake the feeling that he’s somehow doing something wrong by letting Lee touch him.

The feeling comes to a head one night after a party off campus halfway through the semester. Biffy doesn’t go, knows that he had a study group meeting at 8 am the next morning set by their sadistic group leader Matt, and that if he showed up with a hangover it would be a miserable four hours of research. When he gets a garbled text from Lee around 2, however, he figures that since he’s up anyway he might as well drive down to the house and pick Lee up.

The house where the party is being held, a big two-story, four-bedroom place off of Spadina Avenue, is still crawling with people and bursting with sound, despite the late hour of the night. Biffy’s surprised it hadn’t gotten broken up by the police. He parks the car a couple of houses down, not wanting it to be vomited on by some drunken party-goer, and heads up the front walk to find Lee.

His task only takes a few minutes. The unmistakable voice of Holger loudly singing is what makes him turn. Camilio is trying to drag Holger away from the karaoke machine, and just behind them, Lee’s red hair is unmistakable under the lights when he’s leaning down to kiss the cheek of Tina Kwee. Biffy looks away, focuses on the littered pile of red plastic cups that covers the beer pong table, and when he looks back, the girl is laughing and Lee is grinning. Lee looks up a moment later and meets Biffy’s eyes, grins wider.

“Biffy, hey,” he calls, “hey!” Biffy has a fleeting moment of satisfaction as Lee apparently forgets the girl he had just been kissing and makes his way over to Biffy, weaving his way around the people still dancing and drinking in the house. It’s a mess; Biffy feels a little bad for the people who live there, although not too bad if they were stupid enough to have a party this big and not send everyone home when people started getting as drunk as Lee appeared to be. “What ‘re you doin’ here?”

“You sounded pretty out of it in your text,” Biffy says, forcing a tight smile. “Figured I’d come see if you needed a lift home. Unless you’ve already got that covered,” he adds, nodding back at Tina.

“Wha’?” Lee asks. He looks back, grins at the girl again. She raises an eyebrow and he blows her a kiss. “Nah, I’m good. We’re just friends now, and she has a boy- girlfriend? Girls in College get weird… What time’s it?”

“After two,” Biffy tells him. “Come on, Ping, let’s head out, say goodbye to your friends.” Lee waves goodbye at Camilio, and returns to Tina to give her a quick hug. Holger is now dancing with a lamp, and Lee just pats the taller boy on the shoulder before obediently following Biffy out of the house, swaying slightly from the alcohol. Biffy takes the mostly-empty beer bottle he’s still holding and tosses it into a trashcan as they leave. “My car’s down here,” he says, starting to walk into the darkness back toward the neighbor’s house where he had parked. He feels the weight of Lee’s long fingers on his shoulder.

“Hey, Biff,” Lee says. His mouth is near Biffy’s ear, stretching his body from behind to speak to him, and Biffy can smell the alcohol on his breath. “Thanks,” he says. Biffy shrugs his hand away.

“You’re gonna have a killer hangover tomorrow,” Biffy says, “And I’ve got studying to do so I won’t be around. Think you can find the aspirin by yourself?”.

“I’ll manage,” Lee says. His hand is back on Biffy’s shoulder, pulling at his shirt, turning him around as they reach the car. “Hey,” he says. “Thank you.”

“You already said—“ Biffy begins, but he doesn’t have the chance to finish his sentence before Lee’s fingers are pulling his head down, and then soft lips crush against his. Biffy flails backward in shock, but Lee has him pressed up against the car so there’s not really any place he can go. Lee’s hands come down and grip his broad shoulders, and for a second Biffy just wants to let it happen, to part his lips and let Lee push his tongue into his mouth, to kiss Lee back.

Instead he gets the best grip he can on Lee’s arms and push-pulls him away. “Come on,” he says, “You’re really drunk.” He maneuvers Lee around to the passenger’s side of the car and gets him into it, and then gets into the driver’s seat and drives them home. Lee doesn’t try to kiss him again as Biffy directs him upstairs to his bedroom. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ping,” he says, and Lee nods, smiles, eyes half-lidded and sleepy, and goes to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Early the next morning, Biffy is making coffee when Lee comes downstairs, holding onto his head and looking bleary-eyed. Biffy laughs. “Rough night?” he asks, and Lee groans.

“Dude,” Lee says, “How did I even get home yesterday?”

“You, uh, you don’t remember?” Biffy asks. He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, trying to figure out if Lee is trying to avoid talking about the fact that he kissed Biffy, or if he really did black out the night before.

Lee scratches at his head. “Uh, I was at the party with Cam and Holger? And I was talking to… Tina? I think. And I guess I went home.”

Biffy pours him a cup of coffee and loads it up with cream and sugar the way he knows Lee likes. “I came and picked you up.” He pours his own coffee and starts drinking it, black.

“Did I call you?” Lee asks, taking the cup and looking grateful. “Jeez, Biffy, sorry, I know you had to get up early this morning.”

“Nah,” Biffy tells him. “I was just awake knitting a new poncho for Mrs. Rumplekittykat while she’s staying at my parents’ house, so I thought I’d also make sure you weren’t doing anything stupid.” He pauses, grins. “You were, of course. So I had to go out in the middle of the goddamn night and be a hero. I hate you, by the way.”

“You love me,” Lee says.

“Whatever,” Biffy tells him. He pours his own coffee into a travel mug. “I have to go to study group or Matt’s going to kill me and no one will ever find my body; he works in the composting center. Take some aspirin and drink some water.”

On his walk up to campus, Biffy thinks about the night before. Thinks about the past two years, since they got in College.

Biffy had also been pretty much attracted to Lee since they have met back in 10th grade, but despite telling Biffy he had been with guys before when Biffy finally admitted he was gay to their group of friends, Lee had dated a steady stream of women since High School, and had shown no interest in any men, let alone in Biffy.

It had been fine at first; Lee dated girls and Biffy dated a few guys, but then Biffy’s dates slowed down and eventually trickled to a stop, all off the men he went out with saying he was too distant, or he was too likely to blow them off to hang out with his friend Lee, or that it was too obvious that there was someone else he wanted to be with. Which was true, and Biffy wasn’t too naive to think that most of the dates who said that didn’t know exactly who that someone else was.

Eventually Biffy had stopped bothering to date. Yeah, being Lee’s best friend wasn’t the same as being in a relationship with him, but since none of Lee’s girlfriends stuck around more than a month or two either, it left a lot of time for him and Lee just to hang out.

In Lee’s sophomore year he still lived in a dorm, but now, they’ve got a house with Jenny Jergens. Living together certainly doesn’t make Biffy’s crush any easier, considering the number of times Lee comes downstairs or into Biffy’s room half-dressed or straight from the shower, shaggy hair dripping water onto too-tight t-shirts, his arm muscles straining at the thin fabric. More importantly, there’s the number of times when Lee just flops down on Biffy’s bed or on the couch where he’s sitting and wraps an arm around Biffy’s thick bicep, leans his head on Biffy’s shoulders, apparently oblivious to the way Biffy’s cheeks go warm and his eyes wide and dark.

Once, Lee had come barging into Biffy’s room while Biffy was masturbating. Lee hadn’t even apologized, just walked back out, closed the door behind him, and called through it that Biffy should come find him when he was finished if he wanted to go get pizza. Over half a pie apiece, Lee had jokingly asked Biffy who he had been thinking about when Lee had walked in. Biffy had thrown the bottle cap from his beer across the table at him and said Robbie Amell, because of course he wasn’t going to tell Lee who had really been the star of his jerk-off fantasies. Although Lee’s sudden appearance had been hell on his stamina, but had done wonders for the strength of his orgasm, from then on he had started making sure his door was locked when he wanted to jerk off.

But mostly Biffy can handle, has to handle it, he tells himself. He reaches campus and goes into the library, and for the next several hours, he has no time to think of Lee Ping in the midst of all of the discussion of the upcoming exam.


	3. Chapter 3

Biffy heads over to the coffee shop on campus after the study group, where Jenny is working. He orders a black coffee, rolls his eyes when she offers to make him a caramel latte instead, and sits at a diner stool at the counter while she pours him the coffee from a big glass coffee pot.

“What time did your shift start this morning?” he asks her.

“Five-thirty,” Jenny tells him.

“Jesus,” Biffy says, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I was very rudely woken up by someone crashing past my door about two a.m.,” she tells him, “You know anything about that?”

“Oh, yeah,” Biffy replies. “Lee.”

“I figured,” Jenny says. She rolls her eyes, but Biffy knows that she’s not really mad. While Lee is closer to her than Biffy is, since Lee had been her friend since High School, back when she still had that disgusting habit of picking her nose, she and Biffy get along well too, both excited about things like playing practical jokes on Lee, and watching really terrible zombie movies.

Biffy debates telling her what happened the night before, and eventually decides he might as well. He leans in toward her, and she immediately mirrors him, obviously aware he’s about to share something. “He kissed me when I went to pick him up from the party.”

Instantly, Jenny beams. “Well, Biff, that’s great, right? That’s what you’ve wanted?” She looks really happy for him, bright smile that crinkles the corners of her eyes. The crinkles disappear a moment later when she realizes that Biffy isn’t smiling with her.

Biffy slumps down and considers resting his forehead on the table, but then he settles for putting his forehead against his palms, elbows on the counter. “He was drunk, and he didn’t remember the next morning,”

“Oh,” she says. Her smile slides off her face, twisting into a slight frown. “Sorry, Biffy.”

Biffy shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. You know how Lee gets when he’s drunk. He could’ve gone for anyone; I just happened to be there. I wasn’t expecting it to mean something.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jenny says, still looking worried, “but ‘anyone’ hasn’t had a crush on Lee for the past five years.” She looks over Biffy’s shoulder, gives a big, fake-looking smile. “Hi there!” she says.

For a second, Biffy’s worried that it’s Lee, that he overheard what Jenny said. Despite the fact that everyone—their housemates, his friends, Lee’s friends, everyone—knows how Biffy feels, Lee himself remains oblivious and since it’s clear he doesn’t feel the same way, Biffy would kind of like to keep him in the dark about it. But when a hand lands on his shoulder, Biffy can tell immediately that it’s not Lee.

“Kimmie,” he says, turning around. Kimmie McAdams, his oldest and meanest friend. “Hey.”

Kimmie takes a seat next to Biffy, nods at Jenny, who smiles at her. “Coffee?” she asks, and the other girl pours him a cup. “Thanks,” Kimmie says with her usual bored tone. She pays her and Jenny walks over to put the money in the register. “Morning, big boy” she says to Biffy.

“It’s noon,” Biffy tells her.

Kimmie looks up at the clock on the wall of the coffee shop, which reads 12:16. She shrugs, opening her purse and looking at herself in a pink mirror covered in crystals. “Close enough,” she says. “So, I hear you made out with a certain ‘popular-wannabe’ idiot last night.”

Now Biffy does put his head on the counter. “What?” he moans, “I just told Jenny that. How are people talking about it? Did someone see?” He panics for a moment, thinking that if word gets around, there’s no way Lee won’t hear about it. He knows he can’t expect to keep this secret forever, that eventually Lee’s going to stop being so oblivious and notice the way that Biffy is practically pining for him, or somebody’s going to slip up and tell him. But it’s been almost five years and Lee is still in the dark, so Biffy’s got high hopes that he can keep him that way.

Kimmie claps a hand to his shoulder again.

“Calm down, you big drama queen.” Kimmie tells him annoyed. “Brandy saw you. She texted me this morning. You know she’s not going to tell anyone, and she says she didn’t see anyone else around; I asked.”

“Brandy… Lee’s ex-girlfriend was at that party?” Biffy asks.

“Apparently,” Kimmie says. She shrugs and closes her mirror. “So, what happened after?”

“Lee doesn’t remember,” Biffy says. “Probably passed out after I got him home. I didn’t tell him.”

“Unless he remembers and is too chicken to bring it up,” Kimmie says. “Would that be better or worse?”

“Fuck if I know,” Biffy answers. “Worse, probably. But, uh, you know him. He’s not that good a liar.”

“True. Guess there’s no way you can ask about it,” Kimmie says. “If he doesn’t remember, asking will mean you have to tell him, and if he does, he’s wondering why you let him, and that’s a conversation I assume you don’t want to have, if the last five years have been any indication.”

“It’s sweet,” Jenny says from the other side of the counter. “I mean, you’re the least sensitive person I know, Kimmie, no offense. But as soon as Biffy shows up with a pout on, it’s all ‘Like, wanna talk about, like, all your feelings?’” she adopts an exaggerated Valley Girl accent in her imitation of Kimmie, and she glares at her.

“Cute, nose-picker,” Kimmie says, looking over at her before turning back to Biffy and giving him a soft pat on his big hand. “I need to get going. I have a hair appointment in twenty minutes. You need anything, you give me a call, understood?”

“Thanks,” Biffy says quietly. He finishes off the rest of his coffee and Jenny pours him another cup as Kimmie slides off her chair and leaves the coffee shop. “I should head out too,” he tells Jenny. “Think I can get this in a paper cup?” She grabs him one from behind the counter and he pours his coffee into it. “See you at home,” he says on his way out.

When Biffy goes home that afternoon, things are back to normal. If Lee knows anything more about what happened last night than he lets on, Biffy can’t tell. Biffy doesn’t mention it, and Lee doesn’t say anything about his drinking or his hangover or anything else, so Biffy tries to forget about it.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s easy until a couple weeks later, when Lee goes out with some girl he met in Camilio’s birthday party. Biffy stands in the open doorway of Lee’s room and watches him get ready, telling Lee to wear a blue shirt instead of the same old green one, reminding himself that Lee rarely makes it to a second date, and when he does that second date almost never turns into a third.

Lee comes home from his date a few hours later and Biffy is on the couch. He’s got a book open on his chest, spine up, and a football game playing at a low volume on the television. He’s half-asleep, but opens his eyes when Lee shuts the front door and walks into the room.

“Hey,” he says, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “You’re back early.”

“Hey,” Lee replies. Biffy has just enough time to move his feet off of the sofa before Lee’s smaller body flops down on it, sprawling out over the cushion so that his ass is where Biffy’s knees had been a moment before. “I guess so.”

“Bad date?” Biffy sits up and closes his textbook. The television continues to murmur low commentary on the game.

Lee grins. “Not at all,” he says, “She just has to work early tomorrow. We’re going out again on Friday night.” He leans back, resting his head against the back of the sofa. Then he laughs. “Oh, dude, you know what she said about you? She asked who I lived with, and when I said I live with you she goes, ‘I hear that guy’s totally hot for you.’” Biffy chokes on his own spit, but Lee must mistake it for a laugh, because he continues, “Okay, fine, she didn’t say it like that. Just that she has a friend who’s friends with you, and her friend said that you have a crush on your roommate. I figured she meant that you were into Jenny, you know, since you guys hang out, but she said her friend said that you were gay.”

“That’s great, Ping,” Biffy says through gritted teeth, trying to keep his voice even, “Really fascinating. But much as I love discussing my secret unrequited love for your boney ass, I’ve got an exam tomorrow.” He forces a laugh and picks up his anatomy book again.

“Aw, Biff, don’t worry,” Lee tells him with a smile. He leans over and pats Biffy’s cheek with his fingertips, seeming not to notice how tense Biffy is. “I defended your honor. I told her you didn’t have good enough taste to even like me that way.”

“Too good, you mean,” Biffy argues, feeling the knot in his stomach untangle slightly, tension diffusing, “My taste is too good to be in love with you.”

“Whatever you say,” Lee replies. He yawns hugely and stretches, then says, “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, buddy.” He gets up, and is halfway to the stairs when he turns back. Biffy braces himself for what he knows must be coming next, but Lee just says, “Hey, good luck with the test.” Biffy nods, and Lee’s red hair disappears up the stairs and out of sight.

Biffy settles back on the couch and picks up his textbook again. He pushes Lee’s date story out of his head and immerses himself in memorizing. Immerses himself so much that he doesn’t realize that Lee has come back down the stairs until Lee is standing right in front of him, blocking Biffy’s light, his shadow falling across the anatomy textbook on Biffy’s lap. Lee clears his throat and Biffy looks up from his book. Lee just stares at him for a minute, and Biffy stares back.

“Can I help you?” Biffy finally asks. No point in postponing the inevitable. Lee will ask it, Biffy will deny it, and then he’ll go back to studying.

Except Lee doesn’t ask. He just says it, and his eyes are big and wide, but he crouches down to look Biffy in the eye and his tone makes it sound like there’s no doubt in his mind. “You… You’re in love with me,” he says. Biffy doesn’t answer, so Lee says it again. This time it sounds more like a question. “Biffy? Are… you’re in love with me?”

Biffy’s all set to say no, to laugh it off and make Lee realize that it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world compared to his old crazy ass A. Nigma conspiracy theories that turned out to be true, and change the subject to something—anything else. Instead, he just looks at Lee and clenches his jaw as he fights the sudden urge to scream. When it gets to be too much for him, making eye contact with Lee and not saying anything, he looks back down at his book. He hears Lee shift and feels the couch cushion dip slightly as Lee sits down beside him.

“Biffy?” Lee asks hesitantly. Biffy takes a deep breath and slowly releases it. He doesn’t look at Lee, but he knows that Lee is looking at him. “Biffy,” Lee says, “I didn’t know. Really, I didn’t—dude, I didn’t know, okay? I didn’t know. You’re my best friend, I didn’t even think that—”

Biffy’s eyes feel wet and his mouth feels dry, so he doesn’t answer. He feels Lee’s hand on his shoulder, then sliding across his back. Lee leans toward Biffy, breath warm on Biffy’s cheek. And for a split second Biffy allows himself to believe that Lee is about to tell him the feeling is mutual, that fuck that girl he went out with earlier, that fuck all the other people he’s dated during the time they’ve known each other, they can be together now.

But of course, that’s not what’s happening. Lee wraps both skinny arms around him and pulls his much bigger figure into a hug. Biffy lets him, he doesn’t put his arms around Lee, but he leans toward him to rest his forehead on Lee’s shoulder. It’s easier this way; he doesn’t have to meet Lee’s eyes. “You’re my best friend, Biffy,” Lee says again when he finally pulls away, warm fingertips ghosting over the back of Biffy’s neck. “You are. You’re my favorite person in the world. I just… I don’t feel like that. About you.”

You could try, Biffy thinks desperately, but he quickly says, “I know, man. I figured that out a while ago. It’s okay, seriously. I just thought we’d never have to talk about it because you never noticed…”

“I’m really, really sorry,” Lee says, and he looks it, so Biffy puts a hand on his shoulder and gives it a light squeeze.

“Go to bed, Lee,” Biffy says. He manages a small smile. “I’ve still got this test to study for.” Lee nods and stands up. He goes up the stairs again, looking back at Biffy as though he’s going to catch him bursting into tears.

When Lee is gone, Biffy looks down at his book again, but the words seem to blur on the page. He shuts it and places it on the coffee table, then heads to the front door and walks outside. The night air in Toronto is cold and the wind blisters across his face. Biffy shivers and pulls out his cell phone.

Kimmie answers on the second ring. _“Biffy?”_ she says, sounding groggy.

“Kimmie,” Biffy says, “Hey. You awake?”

 _“Clearly,”_ Kimmie growls.

“Okay, I’m coming over.” Biffy walks down the front steps and starts up the street toward Kimmie’s apartment a couple of blocks over.

 _“Since when do you call first?”_ Kimmie asks, before Biffy can hang up the phone.

“Screw you,” Biffy says, and hangs up. His throat feels tight and his whole body feels like it’s on edge. He walks faster until he reaches Kimmie’s street. There’s a light on outside Kimmie’s building, and when Biffy reaches it he sees Kimmie standing in the doorway. Biffy climbs the steps. Kimmie is holding two mugs of hot chocolate, and she hands one to Biffy, and then sits down at the top of the steps. Biffy follows her lead, silently blowing over the beverage and carefully taking a sip.

They sit quietly for a few minutes, drinking, and then Kimmie finally turns to look at Biffy. “Not that I don’t appreciate you coming over to drink my premium hot chocolate from Switzerland in the middle of the night,” she says, “but is there something you wanted to talk about?”

Biffy takes another swallow of the drink. “Lee went on a date tonight with some girl,” he says, skirting around what he really wants to say. “They had a good time. They’re going to go out again this weekend.”

“Sorry, Biff,” Kimmie says, “But, if it’s like all his other girlfriends, it’ll be over in like, a month or two…” Biffy shifts uncomfortably, sips some more of his chocolate, and Kimmie picks up on the fact that there’s something more to the story. “What’s going on, big man?”

“She told, uh,” Biffy pauses for more chocolate. “She told Lee she heard I had—that I had feelings for him,” he finishes in a rush, then another pause. “And he asked me if she was right.”

“Oh,” Kimmie says heavily. She’s holding her mug in one hand, but she puts the other hand lightly on Biffy’s shoulder and Biffy leans into it. Kimmie is usually pretty much useless at being comforting, but Biffy appreciates the effort nonetheless. “Then what?” she asks.

Biffy looks down at his steamy chocolate, swills it around a little, dark liquid sloshing inside the mug. “Then he reminded me how important my friendship is to him,” he says, not caring how bitter about it he sounds, “and then he went to bed.”

“Huh,” Kimmie says. “Oh, my God...” Without saying anything else, she stands up and goes back into the building. Biffy waits for a couple of minutes, and Kimmie returns with the entire jar of hot chocolate. She refills Biffy’s mug, and sits back down, putting the rest of the bottles on the step between them. “So, what’re you going to do?”

“Go to class.” Biffy shrugs. “Come back from class. Be Lee’s friend. Hope things don’t get too awkward.” He sprawls out on the porch steps, legs splayed, leans back and props himself up on his elbows. “I’ll deal with it. Been dealing with it for the past fucking five years; unless he gets weird about it, nothing’s going to change.”

“Jesus, Biffy. You wanna stay here a couple days? It won’t help you with classes, but it’ll help you avoid—”

“He’s my best friend,” Biffy interrupts. “I mean, you know, my best friend that I haven’t known for almost twenty years,” he adds in response to Kimmie’s look. “I’m not just going to avoid him forever.” He pauses, and then he acquiesces. “But yeah, maybe tonight, at least. Lee went to bed so it’s probably okay, but… yeah, I’ll stay here.”

“Great,” Kimmie says. She fixes her long blonde hair with determination, and her hand finds Biffy’s shoulder again, squeezes it lightly. “Druscilla’s gone for a couple days anyway; you can take her bed. But first,” she says, turning to the door when Biffy nods, “Let’s have some real drinks.”

* * *

Five shots of tequila later, Biffy has slid down the pink couch, slipped off balance from where his arms are propping him up, and come to lay with his ass on the floor. The glass thunks against the floor when he puts it down. “Kimmie,” he mumbles. “Why ‘m I so fucked up about this?”

“Because this sucks,” Kimmie tells him. “Come on, go to bed.” She gets up, and Biffy follows her into the bedroom. In Dru’s bedroom, Biffy lies down on the silky bed-sheets, and he’s drunk enough that he falls asleep before he can think too much more about Lee.


	5. Chapter 5

Biffy wakes at ten-thirty with a headache and the realization that he missed his first class and his anatomy exam is a half an hour away. He’s wearing the clothes from the night before, of course, but he doesn’t have anything to change, so he just tugs on his shirt and hopes it isn’t so wrinkled anyone will notice. He spends a couple of minutes in the marble bathroom digging through the medicine cabinet for aspirin, and then heads for the door.

Kimmie’s wearing a silky white robe when she catches him on his way out. “Hey,” she says. “Are you ok?”

“Good enough,” Biffy tells her. “Got a test. I’m going to come back after, okay?” Kimmie tells him she’ll be around, and Biffy drives up to campus. He makes it through his exam and is pretty sure he at least got a passing grade despite his hangover and the events of the night before still running through his head.

Then, just as Biffy gets out of the classroom, he runs into Lee, almost literally. He’s standing right outside of Biffy’s classroom, a few feet away from the door, watching the people coming out of the room until he sees Biffy and takes a step toward him. Neither of them says anything, and Biffy can barely look at Lee, but Lee just hands him one of the two paper cups of coffee he is holding.

Biffy takes a sip of the hot coffee—black and almost bitter with how strong it is, the way he likes it—and when Lee walks away from the crowd of people coming out of the classroom, Biffy follows.

“Didn’t see you this morning,” Lee says. He sits down on a bench at the edge of the quad and motions for Biffy to sit beside him, but Biffy hangs back, takes another sip of his coffee.

“Went to Kimmie’s,” Biffy says. They’re speaking in half-sentences, skirting around real conversation. “Overslept. Then I had this exam. So…”

“About yesterday,” Lee interrupts. He hesitates, and Biffy uses the opportunity to look away, to stare deliberately across the quad, at the people walking by, anywhere but Lee’s face. “It caught me off guard. But I hope—are we okay?”

“Yeah, man, we’re okay,” Biffy says.

“You’re one of the most important persons in my life,” Lee tells him like he had the night before, as though that fixes things.

“I know,” Biffy says. “You’re… Important for me, too.” He’s not sure what else to say. That he knows it’s not Lee’s fault, that you can’t force yourself to have feelings for someone or to not have feelings for them (God knows if you could, Biffy wouldn’t have gone for his best friend), that it doesn’t change anything between them. But now that Lee knows, Biffy’s not sure things can just go back to the way they had been, even if he hopes they can.

“Are you going back to the house now?” Lee asks. “We could, I don’t know if you want to talk about it but—“

“I’m going back to Kimmie’s, for a couple days, maybe,” Biffy tells him.

The Korean boy just stares at him for a moment, mouth still half-formed around the rest of his sentence, and then he closes it and nods. “Oh. Okay,” he says. “Okay, I’ll see you when you come home.”

He looks sad, and Biffy suddenly feels like an asshole. It’s true, what he thought about saying; it’s not like it’s Lee’s fault that he doesn’t feel the same way about Biffy as Biffy feels about him. And once he realized how Biffy feels about him, he didn’t laugh at him or say anything to try to hurt him like some people would have. Lee would never do that. But at the same time, Biffy really doesn’t want to talk about it. Maybe with Kimmie, over a few shots of her expensive tequila like the night before, but definitely not with Lee.

He leaves Lee still sitting on the bench and heads back to Kimmie’s house. He’ll have to stop back at his own house at some point, if he wants to stay at Kimmie’s and wear anything other than what he has on, but it’s clear that Lee is going to be walking in that direction—he doesn’t have class for another three hours on Wednesdays so he had obviously come up to this side of the campus just to find Biffy—so Biffy heads the opposite way.

Kimmie isn’t there when Biffy lets himself in, but Biffy settles down on the fluffy couch with the television remote and a book. He realizes he’s still holding the now-empty cup of coffee Lee brought him, and he sets it down on the end table. He’s hungover and tired from the night before so he mostly stares blankly at the tv screen until Kimmie gets back.

“Afternoon, sunshine,” Kimmie says when she walks in. She shoves Biffy’s feet off the couch to make room for her to sit down, and puts her own tiny feet up on the coffee table when she sits. “How’s life?”

Biffy swallows hard before he answers, still looking at the television. “I ran into Lee after class.”

“Hey, just so you know,” Kimmie says conversationally, “If that loser is being an asshole, I’m gonna knock him out.”

“Don’t,” Biffy says. “He’s not. That’d be better, probably. He’s just acting the same. He brought me coffee,” he says, gesturing at the paper cup on the table.

“Huh,”

“Yeah,” Biffy replies. They sit there for a couple more minutes, watching some talk show on mute, and then Biffy decides that he doesn’t want to talk about this with Kimmie either. “I should probably head home,” he says, even though a few hours before he had been planning on staying at Kimmie’s at least until Druscilla got back. “Lee’s got work tonight so he won’t be there too long anyway.”

“Alright then…” Kimmie says, giving him a brief hug. “I’m not the emotional type of girl, and you know that, I’m not that pathetic. But let me tell you this, Biffy T. Goldstein: I _know_ you can do this. I’m the only person that has really known you since before you could even say a full word without slobbering all over your dirty diapers. A guy who doesn’t like you like that will never, _never_ be the end of the world, do you hear me? I remember saying once that you had the attitude to be Glamazon material, and I’m never wrong about that stuff. I know you can make me proud. Still, you know where to find me if you really need me.”

“I-… Thank you, Kimmie… I--” Biffy tries to say over the tight knot forming in his throat.

“Don’t say anything. But always remember this: you are _strong_ , big guy.” Kimmie interrupts him with another hug, and Biffy feels his whole body tensing up. He ends up nodding and gathers his things. He tosses the coffee cup in the trash on the way out.

* * *

At the house, he finds Lee on the phone ordering a pizza. He walks in just in time to hear him asking for mushrooms and sausage. Biffy’s favorite toppings. Not pepperoni and peppers, Lee’s favorites.

“Hey,” Biffy says when Lee hangs up the phone.

Lee turns around and looks up at the other man. “Hi,” he says, almost hesitant, then barrels full speed ahead. “I’m ordering pizza. I wasn’t sure you were going to come home—I mean, not like ever, just tonight, or tomorrow, or whatever. Whenever you came home. But I figured—” He’s rambling now, but Biffy doesn’t bother to stop him. “I wanted pizza and I figured that if you came home, you might want pizza, so I thought—” A pause. “That’s okay, right?”

“Lee,” Biffy says. He takes a deep breath. “Look. I really don’t want to talk about it, now or ever, but there’s not really anything else we can talk about if you’re acting weird about this. So can you, uh, not act weird about this? That would be easier.”

“Oh,” Lee says, “Right. Okay. Yeah.” He’s quiet for a minute and then says, “I still got the pizza.” This startles a laugh out of Biffy, and Lee grins. For a few minutes, it’s like the past day had never happened. Lee asks Biffy how his exam went, and Biffy complains about labelling muscles. Biffy listens to Lee tell a story about one of the dogs he walked while volunteering, and how he wants to talk to the owner of the house they’re renting about whether or not he might be allowed to foster one of the dogs at the house. Things are pretty much normal.

Then Lee’s cell phone rings. He looks at the display then glances up at Biffy, and Biffy notices tension seep into his posture. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who’s calling. Lee moves his finger to press ignore on the phone, and Biffy puts out a hand to stop him. His fingertips graze against Lee’s hand and he pulls back quickly.

“Take it,” he tells Lee. The black and red haired boy leaves the room as he answers, but Biffy can still hear him say hello to Allie, the girl he went out with the night before, can hear Lee’s big laugh at whatever she says next. Biffy’s gut twists uncomfortably, more than it usually does when he overhears Lee talking to his girlfriends, and he leans back against the fridge trying not to hear the warm rumble of Lee’s voice from the next room.

The doorbell rings while Lee is out of the room, and he comes back into the kitchen with his phone cradled between his ear and shoulder, and the pizza box in his hand. “Okay,” he’s saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow night.” He hangs up and sets the pizza box down on the counter.

Biffy opens the box, grabs a slice of pizza, and stuffs a large bite into his mouth to avoid having to say anything to Lee. Lee looks at him, but doesn’t say anything either, just takes a slice of pizza and puts it on a plate, then picks up the box again and carries it out into the living room. Biffy follows him and they sit down. It’s almost normal, except that when Biffy sits on the couch, Lee takes a seat in the chair rather than cramming onto the too-small sofa next to Biffy.

Biffy watches Lee picking the mushrooms off of his pizza. “You could’ve gotten half with pepperoni and peppers,” Biffy says. Lee looks up at him, too long bangs flopping into his eyes. Biffy wants to brush them away.

“Nah, this is great,” Lee says. As if to prove it, he picks up all of the mushrooms from his plate and shoves them into his mouth. He makes a face as he chews and swallows them.

Biffy shakes his head. “You don’t have to—" he begins, but Lee interrupts him.

“These are really good,” Lee says around a mouthful of the half-chewed mushrooms. Biffy decides not to respond and just takes a bite of his own pizza. Neither of them speaks again until they finish their food and Lee gets up, mumbling something about having to go to work. It’s the longest they’ve gone without speaking since Lee got laryngitis the year before and lost his voice for a week and a half, and Holger and Cam had invented their own annoying methods to guess what Lee was trying to say. Holger’s method included a chicken and lots of mustard (for some reason). Usually Lee talks way more, and even though Biffy is much quieter, Lee’s enthusiasm draws him out.

* * *

Biffy gets up early the next morning to go for a run, and when he comes down from his shower afterward, there’s a hot mug of coffee on the counter next to his cell phone and car keys. He wonders if Lee is still trying to make up for not returning his feelings, and even though coffee isn’t really going to do that, Biffy still appreciates it. He’s sitting at the kitchen table, drinking the coffee and eating an almost stale sesame seed bagel that he found in the pantry, when Lee comes into the kitchen, wet hair dripping onto his shirt, clearly just out of the shower. Lee snags half of Biffy’s bagel off his plate and sits down in the chair next to him, grabbing a knife and slathering the bagel with cream cheese.

“Hi,” he says.

“That’s my breakfast,” Biffy complains.

“I made you coffee,” Lee tells him. Of course, then he immediately picks that up too and takes a sip of it.

“I hate you,” Biffy says, taking it back from him and downing the rest of the cup in one long gulp.

“You lov—" Lee bites back the rest of his standard retort and suddenly becomes very focused on his bagel. Biffy ducks his head, stares down at his lap, and when he looks back up Lee has retreated across the kitchen. “I’ll see you later, Biffy,” he says with a tight smile, and grabs his bookbag off a chair as he leaves.

Biffy slumps down in his chair and drops his bagel back on the plate, appetite suddenly gone. He won’t see Lee later because after his classes he’s working at the tech lab until seven, and Lee has his second date with his new girl tonight. A part of Biffy kind of wants to just sit in the chair for the rest of the day and wallow, but that’s not really an option. So he stands up, picks up his own textbooks from where they had been sitting on the chair next to Lee’s, and heads toward campus.

* * *

Things are awkward for a few weeks, up until Thanksgiving break. Lee seems to be tiptoeing around Biffy at first, trying not to say or do anything that might allude to Biffy’s feelings for him. Meanwhile, Biffy just does his best to ignore the increasing amount of time Lee spends on the phone with Allie, his new girlfriend. Biffy wants to hate her on principle for telling Lee about Biffy’s crush, and he wants to like her on principle because he wants Lee to be happy, so he settles for trying to wait to judge her until he meets her. He finally does meet her a couple of days before break when Lee invites her over for dinner. She’s nice, if a bit stiff around him, and Biffy figures that Lee must have told her what was going on. Not that she didn’t already have some idea, surely, considering that she was the one who had clued Lee in on Biffy’s feelings in the first place. Brandy and Jenny are there too; Jenny glares at her from across the table whenever Allie isn’t looking, and catches Biffy’s eye with a sympathetic look whenever Allie is.

Luckily, upon returning after Thanksgiving break —Lee from Korea, where he was spending some family time with his parents and his long-lost older brother— The black and red-haired boy has apparently decided to act like nothing happened, and things pretty much go back to normal between them for two weeks. Then finals happen and Biffy’s too busy stressing out about his second to last semester ever to worry about his relationship, or lack thereof, with Lee.


	6. Chapter 6

Biffy drives down to Lee’s house during winter break, on the morning of New Year’s Eve. He arrives on the Pings’ doorstep late in the afternoon, and Lee’s mother answers the door. She’s talking to someone on her cell phone, but smiles at him and gives a quick hug before she points up the stairs. Lee’s door is partially open when Biffy goes up, so Biffy pushes it the rest of the way and walks into Lee’s room without knocking.

Lee is sprawled out on his bed reading a book, and he looks up when Biffy comes in. When he sees Biffy, his grins widely and rolls off the bed, standing up and walking over to where Biffy is standing. He wraps his arms around Biffy’s broad shoulders in a tight hug, and Biffy leans close, allows himself to press his cheek against Lee’s hair, to breathe in the scent of Lee’s shampoo and to slide his fingertips up over the fabric of his shirt. Then Lee is pulling back and Biffy lets go as well.

“Hey, Biffy,” Lee says. “How was your Christmas?” One of his hands is still resting lightly on Biffy’s forearm, and Biffy pretends not to notice, afraid to draw attention to it in case Lee moves away.

“Good,” he replies with a nod. He asks Lee how his Christmas went, and Lee launches into a story about his brother trying to cut the turkey with a sword during Christmas dinner. Biffy laughs, and when Lee moves back to sit down on his bed, Biffy follows. They sit next to each other, close, knees almost brushing, as Lee finishes the story.

“You hungry?” Lee asks. They go down the stairs and Biffy says hi to Lee’s parents while Lee gets leftovers out of the fridge to make sandwiches. When they have their food, they retreat back up into Lee’s room, where they sit on his bed, backs up against the headboard, eating the sandwiches and watching tv. Lee’s shoulder and arm are a warm line against Biffy’s. “So, Tina and some guys from High School are having a party.” Lee says, “If you wanna go somewhere. Or we can just hang out here.”

Biffy shrugs. “Whatever you want.” It’s not really a hard choice for him, hanging out with a bunch of people he’s never met versus being alone with Lee, but he’s not going to say that.

Luckily, Lee comes to the same conclusion, if most likely for different reasons. “Let’s stay here,” he says, “We can always go over late if we get bored.” He picks up two video game controllers from the side of his bed, and hands one to Biffy. “Now come on,” he says, “Let me kick your ass a couple more times before next year.”

They play for a while and when the sky gets dark outside, Lee drops his controller and slides down on the bed, lying flat to look up at the ceiling. Biffy follows suit and they lay there quietly for a few minutes before Lee says, “So, a new semester, huh?”

Biffy nods.

“That sucks, man,” Lee says, and then he’s grinning and saying, “Time flies. It seems it was yesterday when I spilled my drink all over your shirt in the cafeteria.”

“You were the reason I got detention that day,” Biffy reminds him, “And people still loved that disgusting green soda.”

“Yeah,” Lee says with a smile. “And you wanted to punch me all the time.” He thinks for a minute and then says, “We haven’t changed that much, have we?”

“People change, man. That’s how the world works.” Biffy says. “Who knows what kind of lame and boring adults we will become in ten more years.”

“Adults who still like to go and have a drink with their friends, that’s for sure,” Lee jokes. Then, “Speaking of, New Year’s stuff is starting soon. I’ll go get us something to drink.” Biffy turns on the television to one of the New Year’s Eve broadcasts, and Lee returns a few minutes later with several beers, half a bottle of white wine, and two champagne flutes.

“Fancy,” Biffy says.

“Plastic,” Lee says, tapping on one of the glasses. “My mom doesn’t like to use the real ones. She says we will break them… And… we don’t have any champagne.”

“I could go out for some if you want,” Biffy offers, but Lee shakes his head, opening two of the beers and handing one of them to Biffy.

“Nah,” he replies, sitting back down next to Biffy. “This is good, right?” Biffy nods, and they settle back against the headboard. They watch the New Year’s Eve broadcasts, flipping from channel to channel, making fun of the hosts, and laughing at the ridiculous things the screaming partiers in Vancouver are wearing.

About four minutes before midnight, as the broadcasters on the television are getting chirpier and more excitable, preparing for the countdown, Lee opens the bottle of wine and pours some into each glass. He hands one to Biffy, who holds it, waiting for Lee to put the bottle down.

“You wanna make a toast?” Biffy asks, lifting his glass. He’s joking, but Lee nods seriously.

“Yeah,” he says, raising his glass until the rim of it is nearly touching Biffy’s. “We should toast to, to uh—you?” he asks. “You know, new year, new semester, graduating, being a real adult?”

“I’m not toasting to myself,” Biffy says. “Toast to—" he almost says us, cuts himself off before the word can slip out. Before he can finish the sentence, the countdown begins on television. Biffy nods his head toward it and turns to watch.

“Biffy…” Lee says, as the audience shouts _five, four, three_ , and Biffy turns back to look at Lee. Lee’s face is close to his _, closer than it was before_ , Biffy thinks, although he can’t really focus enough to be sure. Lee’s face is slightly flushed and his eyes are dark, pupils large. He leans fractionally, infinitesimally closer.

The shriek of a cell phone shatters the tension of the moment. Lee jerks back from Biffy on the bed, reaches for the phone on his bedside table, and picks it up. Even from a few feet away, Biffy can hear Allie’s voice.

 _“Happy New Year!”_ she shouts into the phone. Lee looks quickly over at Biffy, clearly asking if he can take the call, and Biffy nods. _“I wish you were here to kiss me at midnight,”_ Allie says, before Lee takes the phone and steps out into the hallway. When he comes back in, he smiles at Biffy, looking embarrassed.

Biffy knows there’s no way to go back to where they left off before they were interrupted, and he feigns a huge yawn. “I think I’m worn out from all the driving this morning,” he says. “Where d’you want me to sleep?”

“My parents wouldn’t mind you sleeping on the couch,” Lee tells him, “But—"

“The couch is good,” Biffy says.

Biffy is halfway to the door when Lee says, “Happy new year, Biffy.”

Biffy turns back. He nods and says, “Goodnight, Lee,” in reply. In the Ping’s living room, Biffy can hear the sounds of Lee getting ready for bed next door through the thin walls. He lies down and listens until he hears Lee go to bed. Then he lies in bed for a while longer, wondering what would’ve happened if Lee’s cell phone hadn’t rung.

* * *

In the morning, Lee’s dad offers to make them breakfast, and they sit in the kitchen with Lee’s parents eating waffles and fruit salad. Then Lee and Biffy spend the afternoon hanging out listening to some music. In the early evening, Biffy gets ready to drive back to their house near college.

“Text me when you get home,” Lee says.

“You sound like my mom,” Biffy replies, laughing. Lee hugs him, wraps his arms around Biffy tight, like always, and Biffy hugs him back, tilting his head down to rest his forehead against Lee’s head, like always. When he pulls away, Lee’s hand slides along his neck briefly as they part.

“I’ll see you at school,” Lee says. Biffy nods and says goodbye, and then gets in his car and drives for home.


	7. Chapter 7

When the spring semester begins, he decides he has to get over Lee. Despite their maybe-almost-kiss on New Year’s Eve, every time they’ve talked since then Lee has been nearly bubbling over with how much he likes Allie. And Biffy likes Lee’s girlfriend, really, he does. He doesn’t have anything against her, at least. Except for the fact that she was the one who told Lee how Biffy feels about him, but Biffy figures he can’t really blame her. Somebody was going to eventually.

Still, despite the fact that he likes Allie, seeing her and Lee making out on the couch first thing when he walks in the door isn’t really Biffy’s idea of a good start to the semester. When he hears the front door open Lee disentangles himself from Allie and stands up.

“Biffy!” Lee says, giving him a hug. He smells like perfume and there’s a red mark, the start of a love-bite, low on his collarbone, almost hidden by his shirt. Biffy pulls away quickly, holding up his duffle bags.

“I gotta—" Biffy says, gesturing up the stairs.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Lee says, “Allie and I are going out to dinner if you want to come, when you put your stuff away.”

“Go,” Biffy tells him, “I ate on the road.” He didn’t, but he needs to go to the store for groceries anyway.

He comes back with groceries around the same time Lee comes back after dropping Allie off after dinner. When Lee goes upstairs to shower, Biffy makes himself a sandwich and eats it quickly. Lee comes downstairs and sits down at the kitchen table.

“So, I know you’re not really into dating,” Lee begins carefully.

Biffy can’t help but laugh. “That’s a promising start to a sentence,” he says.

“Shut up,” Lee says, “I just wanted to tell you that Allie said she knows a couple guys she could set you up with. You know, if you want.”

“Thanks, Lee. I’ll let you know,” Biffy tells him. He’s not planning to take Allie up on the offer, but it does get him thinking. Dating someone wouldn’t be a bad idea, a way to kill time for the semester, until he’s out in the real world and gets a job where nobody has heard of Lee Ping.

Even after he realized how much he liked Lee, he went out with several people, one for about three months. But the number of guys he went out with had died down, over the last year especially, and it would probably be a good idea to start it back up again.

Still, Biffy doesn’t expect to get his chance to dive back in during his second class on the first day of the semester. He’s sitting in the lab, drinking his third cup of coffee for the day and waiting for Professor Wallace to tell him to throw it out, no drinks in class, as she has in every class he’s taken with her for the past two years, when he meets Jace.

That is, he knows Jace. There aren’t enough people in his major for Biffy not to have met everyone at least a couple of times. But he’s pretty sure he hasn’t had a class with Jace since his first year. He actually thought the guy might’ve transferred, but here he is sliding into the chair next to Biffy’s at the lab table.

“Hi,” Jace says immediately. “Biffy, right? I’m Jace.”

“Yeah, hi,” Biffy says, shaking his hand. “I remember you. It’s been a while.”

“Yes, it has,” Jace agrees, and god, he’s not even subtle when he checks Biffy out. Biffy gives him a slow smile, and resolves that when Jace inevitably asks him out, he’ll say yes. They’re interrupted from their flirting, however, by Professor Wallace.

“Mr. Goldstein,” she says, with a friendly but firm, smile, “I think you’ve known me and my rules long enough to know that your coffee cup does not belong in this classroom.” She gestures to the trashcan and waits for him to throw it out. “Now, class—” she launches into her lecture. Biffy glances over at Jace a couple of times during the hour, catching Jace looking back at him each time.

After class, as Biffy expected, Jace asks him if he wants to get some coffee. “Since Wallace made you trash yours,” he says with a smile. Biffy nods, and they walk across campus to the coffee shop.

Jenny is working, and she waves when they come in. “Biffy, hi!” she calls, and they go over to where she’s standing at the counter with a coffeepot and sit down. “How was your break? I didn’t see you get in last night.”

“Good, Jen,” he tells her, “We’ll catch up later. Right now, can we get some coffee?”

“Of course,” she says, pouring two mugs full of the steaming liquid. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, yeah,” Biffy says, “Jenny, Jace. Jace, Jenny. Jace,” he says, “Jenny is one of my housemates. Jenny, Jace is, uh, a friend from class.” She gives him a knowing look when Jace reaches for his coffee, and a furtive thumbs-up as she’s walking away. Biffy laughs.

“What’s funny?” Jace asks, adding milk to his cup.

“Nothing,” Biffy answers. “Nothing, just—hey, so what have you been up to the past few months?” They spend almost an hour catching up, and when Jace asks him if he wants to go out to dinner in a couple days, Biffy says yes without hesitation.


	8. Chapter 8

The hesitation comes later, when Biffy is sitting on the couch eating a tuna fish sandwich and Lee comes home after going to the movies with Holger and Cam. He almost jumps from the couch when he hears Holger’s voice outside.

“Cam is wrong! Holger is right! The bad guy died at the end, and mermaid princess married the prince with wings like eagle! Happy ending! Movie about spiders and robots, and robot-spiders is not hard for Holger to understand!”

“The Emperor didn’t die at the end of the movie, no good for the Android-Cyborg Spider Army, _ese_! They are the good guys, and they lost their entire galaxy! Lee, _hermano_! Please tell Holger that he is wrong, and I’m always right about these things!”

The door opens, and Lee enters, followed by his two friends.

“All right, guys. Holger, the Dark Emperor isn’t dead yet. That’s why the princess used her crystal at the end in the volcano castle’s door. Cam, you are right, the army is still looking for a new galaxy.”

Biffy closes his eyes, trying to emotionally prepare himself for what he knows will happen next.

“BIFFY!” Comes Holger’s greeting as the tall European jumps over Biffy and hugs him. “It’s me, Holger from school! And Cam, and Lee!”

“I know who you are, get off of me!” Biffy tries to move away from Holger, but that’s when Cam joins him in a hug too.

“We have missed you, _hermano_! You should totally come with us sometime! Lee keeps you all for himself, huh? Tell him that he needs to share! Yo, Lee!”

Twenty minutes later, after Holger tries to recreate one of the scenes of the movie while using socks as puppets, they were gone, and Lee turned around to look at his roommate with a tired yet happy smile plastered on his face.

He flops down next to Biffy, rips off a piece of Biffy’s sandwich, and shoves it into his mouth.

Then he asks Biffy, “How’d your day go?”

Biffy stalls, takes another bite of his tuna sandwich. Lee is watching him expectantly, and finally Biffy says, “Fine. It was good. How about you?”

“Good,” Lee says cheerfully. “Is there any more tuna?” Biffy shakes his head, but passes Lee half of his sandwich. After he finishes eating it, Lee says, “Hey, have you thought at all about Allie setting you up? Because she said her friend Greg is totally your type, and she was thinking we could go on a double date or something. That’d be fun, right?”

Not really, Biffy thinks, although he is somewhat curious about what Allie thinks his type is. How much this Greg person is like Lee. “I’ve actually got a date later this week,” Biffy admits, pausing for a moment to enjoy the surprised look on Lee’s face, “so I think I’m going to see where that goes first.”

“Oh,” Lee says, “Oh, yeah, of course.” Then, curiously, “Who is he?”

“His name’s Jace,” Biffy says, “He’s in my program.”

“Cool,” Lee says. He frowns for a moment, but doesn’t say anything. Finally, he looks over at Biffy and says, “You like Allie, don’t you?”

He looks a little bit nervous, fingers curling and uncurling where his hands rest on his denim-clad thighs, and for a long, horrible moment, Biffy is sure Lee’s about to say that he wants to ask Allie to marry him. Rationally, he knows it’s ridiculous; they’re juniors, and they’ve only been dating for three months, but then again Lee has always rushed into relationships. “Sure,” Biffy says hesitantly. “Why?”

“I was just wondering,” Lee says, leaning back against the sofa.

“Okay, Ping,” Biffy says. He changes the subject by asking if Lee wants to play video games, and they spend the next two hours competing with each other until Jenny comes home and tells them she wants to use the tv to watch a documentary for her class.

“Are you hungry?” Lee asks, getting up so Jenny can sit down on the couch and put the documentary in the DVD player.

“We ate,” Biffy says.

“Half a sandwich,” Lee reminds him.

“Well, I would’ve had a whole sandwich if you hadn’t come in and—" Biffy begins indignantly.

“Come on,” Lee says, “Let’s go get something.” He walks over to the front door, holds it open until Biffy gets up and follows him.

They end up at a diner, and Lee orders a breakfast for dinner special—scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast with a side of home fries. When Biffy just asks the waitress for a diet soda, Lee orders a breakfast for dinner special for him too. They sit in comfortable silence until the server brings their food over. Lee digs in and Biffy picks at the food he didn’t actually order.

“It’s good,” Lee tells him, picking up another forkful of scrambled eggs. “Do you like it?”

“It’s fine,” Biffy tells him. “I’m not that hungry.”

“Come on, man,” Lee says, grinning, “I know you can pack it away as well as me.”

“I’m just not that hungry,” Biffy says again. Which is why I didn’t order this to begin with, he thinks, but of course doesn’t say. He doesn’t want Lee to think he’s annoyed; he’s not annoyed. He takes a large bite of his home fries.

“Sorry,” Lee says, looking sheepish. “I figured—“

“It’s okay,” Biffy tells him. It’s the first day of classes, the first day of the semester. He’s not going to let things get weird. “Hey,” he says, “we should all go out sometime.”

“We who?” Lee asks.

“Us. Me, you… Allie,” Biffy says. “Tina, Jenny, Holger, Cam, whoever.”

Lee laughs. “That’d be a hell of a night.”

“Yeah,” Biffy agrees. “So why not?”

“What about the new guy?” Lee asks then. “When are you guys going out? What’s his name again?”

“Jace,” Biffy tells him. “And Thursday. I’ll decide if he should go out with all of us after that.”

“Okay,” Lee says.

When they’re finished eating, the waitress comes back to give them the check, and Lee grabs it before Biffy can even reach to see it. “I got it,” Lee says, putting the check on the table with a twenty-dollar bill on top of it.

“You sure?” Biffy asks, and Lee nods.

“Yeah,” Lee tells him. “I made you get that anyway. When you weren’t hungry,” he adds, jokingly, looking at Biffy’s almost empty plate.

“Thanks,” Biffy says. Lee grins.


	9. Chapter 9

Thursday rolls around, the day of Biffy’s date with Jace. Their class together is only once a week, so Biffy hasn’t seen Jace since then, and except for a text from Jace asking Biffy for his address and telling him he’ll pick him up around 8, they haven’t talked either.

Biffy’s upstairs when Jace shows up, knocks on the door while Biffy’s buttoning up his shirt. He hurries down the stairs, still trying to button the top two buttons on his shirt, but he’s too slow. The door is already open when he reaches the bottom step, and Lee is standing between Jace and the house.

Jace’s only an inch or two taller than Lee, and it might just be Biffy’s imagination, but it almost looks like Lee’s trying to make himself bigger, nonchalantly but obviously blocking the doorway so Jace can’t walk inside.

“Hey, Jace,” Biffy calls from the other side of the room. Jace and Lee both look at him, and Lee finally steps aside to allow Jace in.

“Biffy,” Jace says, “Hi. I was just introducing myself to your roommate.”

“Oh, yeah,” Biffy says, “This is Lee, my best friend. Lee, this is Jace.”

“Yeah,” Lee says, “I know.” Biffy shoots him a quick look, but Lee’s expression is innocent, no hint of the coldness in his voice on his face.

“Alright, we’re going to get going. See you later, Lee,” Biffy says. Jace turns around and heads out the door, seeming eager to leave, and Biffy follows. He looks back halfway across the lawn toward Jace’s car, and Lee is still standing in the doorway looking after them.

“Guy doesn’t seem to like me,” Jace says. He doesn’t seem too fazed by it.

“Lee likes everyone,” Biffy says, feeling defensive. “He’s just had a long week.”

“First week of the semester? Imagine how much he’s going to hate me come midterms,” Jace jokes.

“Where are we going?” Biffy asks, changing the subject.

“You know that Italian place downtown? Off of Williams? Is that cool?”

“Yeah,” Biffy says, “Lee and I go there all the time.”

“Oh,” Jace says, “Well, if you’d rather go somewhere else—“

“No, that’s great,” Biffy tells him.

The Italian place in question isn’t very crowded on a Thursday evening, and they get a table near the middle of the restaurant. When the waiter comes over to them, Jace orders them some wine—nothing too expensive, but not exactly cheap either. Biffy would have preferred a beer, and he would really rather order for himself, but he’s been on enough first dates—even if not for a while—that he knows some guys are really into ordering for their dates, especially if they’re nervous and trying to be gentlemanly. He can deal with it.

The waiter brings them the wine, and Jace orders the spinach ravioli. Biffy hesitates for a moment when the waiter turns to him, and then says, “I’ll have the same.” Jace smiles at him.

They spend most of the date catching up, getting to know each other. They hadn’t been friends the last time they had a class together, but acquaintances at least. “I always thought you were hot,” Jace admits, and Biffy laughs.

Afterwards, Jace pulls the car up outside Biffy’s house. “I’ll walk you up?” he asks. Biffy nods, and they get out of the car. On the porch, Biffy leans in, kisses Jace lightly on the lips.

“I’d ask you in,” he says, “But Jenny usually has some kind of film screening thing going on in there around this time, so unless you want to watch documentaries about weird filmmaking shit—“

Jace chuckles. “I’ll call you this weekend.” He kisses Biffy this time, and touches a hand to the back of his neck to pull him closer. Then he goes back to his car and drives away. Biffy watches him until he turns the corner, and then goes into the house.

He walks past Brandy’s doc studies group and heads up the stairs. Lee’s door is open, and Lee is lying on his bed reading a book. Biffy knocks on the open door and then walks in. Lee doesn’t look up until Biffy sits down on the end of the bed.

“Hi,” Biffy says.

“Hey,” Lee replies. Then, “How was the date?”

“Good,” Biffy says. “We went to that Italian place off of Williams.”

Lee looks back down at his book. “You going out again?” he asks.

Biffy shrugs. “Probably.”

“Oh.” Lee pauses and then says, “He seemed like a jerk.”

“He’s not,” Biffy says, “I’m going to do homework. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” Lee says as Biffy leaves.


	10. Chapter 10

Biffy texts Jace a few times over the next several days, and when Jace calls him on Saturday, Biffy decides to invite him over to watch football. He’s on the couch, with Lee sitting next to him eating oatmeal, when Jace arrives. Biffy gets up to open the door, beating Lee to it this time, and Jace gives him a quick kiss on the lips after saying hello. Biffy grins and hooks a hand around the back of Jace’s neck, kisses him harder, all too aware that Lee is in the same room.

He’s made even more aware of the fact when Lee clears his throat a moment later. Biffy turns around, and Jace follows him over to the sofa.

“Hey,” Jace says. “Lee, right? We didn’t really meet properly the other day,” He holds out his hand. Lee shakes it, but he’s not grinning like he usually is when he meets people.

“Hi,” Lee says. Jace sits down and Biffy sits on the couch between them. It’s a tight fit, the couch isn’t very large and Biffy is a big guy, so he’s is pretty much sandwiched between the two of them, one of his thighs pressing against Lee’s, his shoulder against Jace’s. If this was anything more than watching a football game on television, it might be awkward, but as it is, it barely qualifies as a date, so Biffy just settles back against the back of the couch between them, and turns up the volume on the TV.

They don’t talk much during the game, except to occasionally yell at the television. Afterwards, Jace asks if Biffy wants to go get some dinner with him.

“Yeah, let me go get a coat,” Biffy says.

“You’re welcome to come if you want to,” Jace says to Lee.

“No thanks,” Lee answers. “You two crazy kids have fun.” He smiles, looking more relaxed than earlier, and Biffy grins at him before he leaves with Jace.

When he comes back from getting pizza at a place downtown, however, Lee is back to looking less than thrilled. He’s on the phone when Biffy walks in, but he quickly says goodbye and hangs up on whomever he is talking to.

“Everything okay?” Biffy asks.

“Fine,” Lee says. An obvious lie; his whole body is tense and his voice is tight.

“Seriously, Ping,” Biffy pushes with a growl. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lee says, sounding dangerously on edge. Biffy’s not sure whether to just leave him be or press further; in all the time he’s known Lee there’s only been a handful of instances where his best friend had gotten angry. Kimmie, all the time—Biffy’s more worried when Kimmie is not in the mood to verbally fight someone—but Lee, rarely. Biffy doesn’t have to make a decision, however, because Lee speaks again. “You know, Allie asked again about setting you up. I’m sure this Greg guy wouldn’t be such an asshole.”

“What?” Biffy asks. Lee shrugs. “You think Jace is an asshole?” Another shrug. “Dude,” Biffy says patiently, “What’s going on? You only talked to him for like thirty seconds.”

“Long enough,” Lee says.

“Are you serious?” Biffy asks. “We watched a football game. He invited you to dinner. What don’t you like about him?”

“Look,” Lee replies, “I just don’t like the guy. Remember when I was dating Tina and you didn’t like her?”

“I do remember, and I do like her,” Biffy reminds him.

“Whatever,” Lee says.

“So what?” Biffy asks, “You want me to stop dating him? Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know,” Lee says. “Forget it. I don’t know, I’m… I’m going upstairs.” He leaves before Biffy can respond. Biffy stands in the kitchen trying to figure out what had just happened. It almost seemed like Lee was… _jealous_ , but no matter how much Biffy might want to believe that, he didn’t think it was the case. He hadn’t dated much in the years he had known Lee, but he’d dated some, and Lee had never acted like this about anyone else. Not to mention the fact that he wouldn’t be so desperate to set Biffy up with Allie’s friend if he secretly wanted Biffy for himself. Still, it was strange.


	11. Chapter 11

Biffy and Jace go out eight times over the next month and a half. They eat at five different restaurants, doubling up on two of them, see two movies and go to a _Dudes of Darkness_ concert. Biffy gives Jace a blowjob in the bathroom at the concert, Jace reciprocates with a hand job as he rims Biffy’s ass, and they have sex in Jace’s studio apartment after their fourth date. Biffy stays over a couple times after that. He never invites Jace back to his house, but he thinks that Jace understands. Lee hasn’t gotten any friendlier toward or about Jace in the time that Biffy’s been dating him. And every time Biffy asks him why, Lee just changes the subject.

He talks to Kimmie about it, once. They’re in the kitchen of Kimmie’s house, eating macaroons while Biffy does homework and Kimmie watches a make-up video, holding her food in the other.

“It’s not like you liked any of his girlfriends,” Kimmie says.

“Not true,” Biffy argues. “I liked Tina. I like Brandy.”

“Two outta how many?” Kimmie laughs. “Face it, Biffy, you’re just a better actor.”

“Yeah, but there’s nothing wrong with Jace, is there?”

“Hell if I know,” Kimmie tells him. “Since you haven’t let me meet the guy.”

“You—you want to meet him?” Biffy asks.

“Sure,” Kimmie says, taking a bite off a purple macaroon. “Bring him by sometime.” Biffy nods. He leaves Kimmie’s feeling a little bit better about the whole thing, but it doesn’t change the fact that he can’t even mention Jace’s name to Jenny or answer the phone when he calls without Lee glaring.

Sometimes Biffy wants to bring it up, to force Lee to talk about it until he admits what it is about Jace that bothers him. But if he’s really honest with himself, he doesn’t care that much. He doesn’t love Jace and doesn’t want to love Jace, and Biffy thinks that Jace knows it. He knows, at least, that Biffy isn’t looking for anything too serious. Not, if he keeps being honest with himself, with someone who isn’t Lee.

Still, he likes Jace, and he’s long ago come to terms with the fact that he can’t have Lee. As they keep dating, he finds himself thinking about Jace more and more, smiling when he sees a text message from him or when he calls to talk or ask Biffy out for dinner.

Biffy stays at Jace’s apartment the night after their ninth date. They have sex in the shower and fuck again in Jace’s bed, and afterwards Biffy lets himself be the little spoon as Jace wraps an arm around his thick waist and pulls his much bigger frame in. He wakes up in the morning with Jace still curved around him, and for a few minutes, Biffy thinks that he could get used to this, could wake up every morning next to Jace and be happy, at least relatively. For a while.

“Jesus, you’re gorgeous,” Jace says, opening his eyes and appreciating Biffy’s _big_ attributes. Biffy doesn’t say anything in reply.

Biffy works the coffee pot while Jace scrambles some eggs, and they eat breakfast sitting on Jace’s bed because his apartment is too small for any furniture other than a bed, a desk, and a table for his lamp.

“I should head home,” Biffy says, drinking his coffee. “I have to write that paper for Wallace’s class. You’ve done it yet?”

“Not yet,” Jace says. “You could stay here and we could work on them together,” he suggests.

“I don’t think so,” Biffy says with a grin, “If I’m here, there’s no way this paper is going to get written.”

“Good point,” Jace says, also grinning. “Go home, write your paper. You wanna grab dinner later?”

“Sure,” Biffy says. Jace leans in, kisses him on the lips before Biffy stands up to get ready to leave.

Biffy pulls on his jeans and a t-shirt that he’s pretty sure is actually Jace’s since it’s a little too big, and not quite the same shade of blue as the one he wore over, and heads back to his house. He arrives to find Allie and Lee standing on the front steps, Lee in the doorway and Allie on the bottom step. They’re shouting at each other, although Biffy can’t make out what they’re arguing about; by the time he gets to them Allie is already storming down the front walkway, pushing by Biffy as she passes.

“Hey,” Biffy says, reaching Lee on the porch. “What the hell’s going on? Are you okay?” Lee doesn’t answer him, just turns around and goes into the house. Biffy follows. Lee sits down on the couch and presses his face into his hands. He’s breathing heavily, his shoulders rising and falling, but at least it doesn’t look like he’s crying.

Biffy sits down beside him, rests a hand on his shoulder. “Lee?” he asks quietly. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Lee says. “We got in a fight. We broke up.”

“Oh,” Biffy says. He gives Lee’s shoulder a small squeeze. “Sorry, man. What did she do?”

“Nothing,” Lee repeats.

“What did… you do?” Biffy asks hesitantly.

“Nothing,” Lee says for the third time, almost tiredly. “It just didn’t work out.” He stands up. “I’ll talk to you later, Biff.” He goes upstairs, leaving Biffy sitting on the couch.

Biffy figures that Lee wants some alone time, so he doesn’t go after him. He gets his laptop and begins working on his paper. After a few hours, he takes a break to go get groceries. He picks up a bag of m&ms in the check-out line, intending to give them to Lee to cheer him up, but when he gets back to the house and goes up to Lee’s room, the door is closed and Lee doesn’t answer when Biffy knocks, even though Biffy’s sure that Lee is inside. Biffy takes the candy back downstairs and continues with his paper. After about an hour he absentmindedly opens the m&m package and eats half of the candy.

Lee comes down early in the evening, feet bare and hair wet from the shower. Biffy looked up when he walked down the stairs, but Lee didn’t look upset like he had that morning. To the contrary, he smiles at Biffy when he comes into the room.

“Hey,” he says. Biffy offers him the rest of the m&ms. Lee pops a couple of them in his mouth and sits down on the couch next to Biffy. “What’re you working on?”

“Homework,” Biffy says, turning his laptop slightly for Lee to see his half-written paper.

“You hungry?” Lee asks, sounding far more cheerful than someone who had just broken up with his girlfriend should sound. “I’m starving. Want to go get something to eat?” Biffy remembers that he had told Jace he would have dinner with him, but Lee had just broken up with his girlfriend and Biffy was sure that even he couldn’t bounce back so quickly from a relationship that had lasted several months longer than his usual girlfriends, no matter how he is acting. Biffy agrees, and while Lee goes to put on some shoes and get a coat, Biffy texts Jace to let him know he needs to take a rain check.


	12. Chapter 12

They go to Manganella’s, and when they walk in the door, Biffy realizes he hadn’t been back to the restaurant since his first date with Jace. It’s way more crowded on a Saturday evening than it was on that Thursday night, and Biffy and Lee get put at a booth near the back of the restaurant, by the kitchen. A waiter comes by after the hostess seats them, and Biffy and Lee both order beers and manicotti, not even bothering to look at the menus.

When the waiter walks away, Biffy asks, “Are you okay?” Lee looks at him questioningly. “Come on, Lee, I know things between you and Allie were getting pretty serious, so you wouldn’t just drop it unless something had happened, right? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, man.” Lee says. “Seriously, we just realized we wanted different things. Very mature of us.” He laughs. Biffy isn’t convinced; the screaming fight he saw that morning didn’t look very mature, or very much like they just wanted different things. But he doesn’t press the issue, and when Lee changes the subject a moment later, he allows himself to focus on the conversation Lee has started about what movies would be playing near campus soon instead of thinking about Lee’s breakup.

After dinner—Biffy insists on taking the bill despite Lee’s protests, arguing that he’ll be the first one to have a big paycheck—they go back to the house. It’s not until they’re back inside that Biffy realizes that he had left his phone on the couch next to his laptop. He picks it up, and there are three missed calls, all from Jace. He presses a button to call Jace back, and out of the corner of his eye notices Lee watching him.

“Biffy?” Jace says when he answers.

“Hey,” Biffy says, “You got my text, right?”

“Yeah,” Jace tells him. “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

“Everything’s fine.” Biffy looks over to where Lee is still standing on the other side of the room. “Friend just had a bad day.” He’s pretty sure that Jace can tell he’s talking about Lee from the way that he carefully avoids giving details; Lee had never really warmed up to Biffy’s boyfriend, and Biffy mostly tried to keep them out of each other’s ways. Mentioning them to each other as infrequently as possible seemed to help that, and Biffy didn’t want to broadcast Lee’s personal life anyway, not even to Jace, and especially not with Lee standing right there.

“Alright,” Jace says, “I just wanted to make sure.”

“I’ll talk to you later,” Biffy says. “Bye, Jace.”

“Bye, Biffy, I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Jace says. Then, nonchalantly enough that it doesn’t even register to Biffy until he has already hung up the phone, “Love you.”

After Biffy presses the ‘end’ key on his cell phone, when he realizes what Jace had said, Biffy just stands there for a moment, one knee almost bumping the couch, looking at Lee standing on the other side of the room. Then he turns and hurls the phone at the wall. It narrowly misses the window, bouncing off the wall and leaving a black mark in the paint before it falls and hits the carpet. It’s one of the more melodramatic things he’s ever done in his life, up there with bursting into tears at a Little League game when he was seven, but it feels damn good.

“What was that about?” Lee asks when Biffy turns back to him. He walks over to the other side of the room and picks up Biffy’s phone, checks to make sure it works, and then puts it on a table—off the ground, but far away from Biffy. In case he gets any ideas about throwing it again, Biffy guesses.

Biffy shakes his head. “I need another beer,” he says.

“I’ll drink to that,” Lee replies, walking into the kitchen and coming back a minute later with what looks like pretty much all of the alcohol they have in the house. He walks over to where Biffy is standing and hands him a beer and a half-empty bottle of whisky before he sits down on the couch. Biffy sits too, and Lee sprawls out so that the side of his body is up against Biffy’s.

Several hours and much more alcohol finds them both wasted, leaning against each other on the sofa as Biffy takes a swig of rum from the bottle Lee holds. He laughs, although he can’t remember what it was he thought was funny.

“’s weird,” Lee says. “Couple months ago… I don’t know, man. Now you’ve got that jerk—“

“Jace,” Biffy interjects.

“Jace,” Lee says, “Whatever. And me an’ Allie broke up.”

“What’s weird about it?” Biffy asks.

Lee furrows his brow and thinks for a moment, then shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he says again. “Just weird.”

“You’re really drunk, Ping,” Biffy tells him.

“So are you,” Lee argues. Biffy thinks about it for a minute, and decides that’s not really the point, but when he looks over at Lee to respond he sees that Lee’s eyes are closed and that he is breathing slowly and evenly, asleep with his head resting against the back of the couch.

Biffy considers waking Lee up and telling him to go to bed. He considers letting Lee sleep and just going to bed himself. Then he dismisses both of those thoughts and lets his fall back against he couch as well and closes his eyes.

He wakes up with his head on Lee’s shoulder. He wonders for a moment why he’s awake when he should so clearly be asleep to escape his pounding headache, but he realizes that Jenny is shaking him. “Hey,” she says, “I have eight people coming over to watch a doc in ten minutes.”

“I bought this television,” Biffy mumbles, but he drags himself off the sofa and looks back at Lee.

“Wake him up too,” Jenny says.

“You wake him up,” Biffy says, “You woke me up.”

“Ten minutes,” Jenny says, and goes into the kitchen.

Biffy groans. Then he leans down close to Lee’s face. “Lee, get up. Jenny’s got a film thing.” Biffy can hear Jenny moving around in the kitchen, and he hopes she’s making coffee.

“Huh?” Lee asks, opening his eyes.

“Upstairs,” Biffy says, “Go. Film thing.” Lee grumbles unintelligibly, but stands up.

“Ugh,” he says. “I’m going back to sleep.”

“Go for it,” Biffy tells him, “But go upstairs. Come on.” His mouth tastes like shit and his head is throbbing a steady thump _thump thump_ along with his heartbeat, but Lee looks even worse than Biffy feels, so he takes charge of getting him upstairs and to his bedroom. He gives Lee a push and Lee heads for the stairs. Biffy follows behind him. When they get upstairs, Lee stops outside his room.

“I’m going back to sleep again,” Lee says. He stands in the doorway of his room, holding the door open in a way that almost looks like he’s inviting him inside. If he is, if that’s what he’s intending to do with the way he’s pushing the door open ahead of him like he’s waiting for Biffy to go through, Biffy considers it for a moment. But just for a moment—whatever Lee’s feeling, if wanting Biffy to come to bed with him is what he’s feeling, must be a result of his bad breakup, of his hangover.

“I know,” Biffy says, taking a step away. “I’ll see you later.” He walks to his own room and looks back when he reaches his door. Lee is watching him from his own doorway, but Biffy just goes into his room and closes the door. He goes to sleep and the next time he wakes up, it’s because his mattress dips down as Lee sits on the edge of his bed.

“Here,” Lee says, handing him two small white pills and a dixie cup of water. “You probably need these as much as I did.” He looks much better than he had earlier that morning, his hair is slicked back from the shower and his eyes are slightly red but beyond that, there’s no sign of his unhappy, hungover state from before.

“Thanks,” Biffy tells him, swallowing the aspirin and washing them down with the water. “What time is it?”

“About noon,” Lee says.

“Great,” Biffy says. “Is Jenny still doing her film stuff downstairs?”

“I haven’t been down there yet,” Lee replies, “But it sounds quiet, so probably not.” Biffy gets out of bed and realizes that the jeans he was wearing the night before are on the floor next to his bed. He doesn’t remember having taken them off before he went to sleep, but he must have, so he pulls them back on. Lee follows him downstairs.

Jenny is on the couch with two of her classmates, and Biffy sees that his cell phone is still on the table next to her, thankfully unbroken from his idiocy the night before. He walks around the back of the couch and picks it up. There’s a missed call from Jace, received earlier that morning, and Biffy almost presses the call button to return it, but then he tucks the phone in his pocket and goes into the kitchen to make some coffee.


	13. Chapter 13

Biffy spends a lot of time with Lee over the next week. It’s not because he’s worried about Lee after his breakup; Lee seems to be taking it in stride and he never gets as worked up about relationships as Biffy has in the past, even if this latest relationship with Allie lasted three times as long as most of his previous relationships had. But Allie dumping him does mean Lee’s around a lot more, hanging out with Biffy during the time he would have usually been spending time with Allie.

One night, Lee comes in to Biffy’s room late; Biffy is half-asleep and almost doesn’t hear Lee opening the door. When Lee enters, Biffy asks him if everything’s okay and Lee doesn’t respond. Instead, he walks over to Biffy’s bed and lies down on it, on top of the covers, face pressed into one of the pillows.

“Lee?” Biffy asks. He nudges at Lee with one hand and Lee just groans into the pillowcase. “Are you alright?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Lee says, voice muffled. “Mind if I stay in here for a while?”

“Yeah, okay,” Biffy tells him after a moment’s hesitation. His bed is big enough, and he’s always preferred sleeping with someone to sleeping alone. Even if that someone is attractive and not wearing a shirt and not at all interested in him. He tugs on the covers a little bit, trying to pull them back in case Lee wants to get underneath them, but Lee seems content to lie flat on top of the blankets, so Biffy just lets it go and lets him.

Whatever problems falling asleep Lee had been having in his own room don’t seem to have carried over into Biffy’s room; Lee is sleeping, breathing quietly against the pillow, a few minutes later. Biffy lay on his side and watched him for a little while, Lee’s shoulders rising and falling slowly with his breathing, his hair falling forward into his face. Finally Biffy rolls over and tries not to think about the fact that Lee is in his bed so he can fall asleep. It’s not the first time he and Lee have shared a bed; they’ve been on camping trips crammed together in a single, small tent. But it’s the first time in a while. The first time since Lee found out how Biffy feels about him.

He finally drifts off to sleep, although he wakes up several times during the night feeling overly aware of Lee’s presence. The bed is plenty big enough for the two of them. However, once Biffy wakes up with one of Lee’s hands a few inches away from his face, and the other time Lee’s hand is actually touching his, lightly, accidentally, just resting against it like Lee had reached out in his sleep and found something to hold on to.

In the morning, Biffy wakes up early as usual, when the sun begins to stream in through the thin, filmy curtains on the windows. Lee is still sleeping, hair mussed and mouth slack, a tiny droplet of drool at the corner of his lips. Biffy spends a few moments just looking at him, watching the way the thin rays of sun fall across his face, and then Biffy’s cell phone starts vibrating on the table where Biffy had left it the night before. He grabs it and answers in a whisper, hoping that he doesn’t wake Lee.

“Hello?” he says. He hadn’t bothered to look at the name on the screen, but he’s annoyed that someone would call him this early.

“Hey, Biffy,” Jace says. Biffy feels his annoyance lessen slightly. They’ve got class together this morning; at least it’s someone who knows his schedule means he has to be awake right now anyway. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Just got up,” Biffy says, keeping his voice low. He gets out of bed and walks away from it, looking back at Lee to see if he’s still asleep. He is, although he stirs and slides one of his arms under the pillow he’s resting on.

“Oh, good,” Jace says. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to grab breakfast before class today?”

“Sure,” Biffy says, rummaging through one of his drawers for some clean clothes. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll meet you up at the coffee shop.” Jace agrees and Biffy hangs up. He changes quickly and grabs his bookbag from the chair where he had dropped it the night before. He leaves with Lee still sleeping in his bed.


	14. Chapter 14

Biffy’s phone beeps with an incoming text message while he’s on the phone with Jace on Thursday afternoon. He checks it quickly, pulling the phone away from his ear while Jace tells him about his day.

“I just got a text from Kimmie,” Biffy tells him when Jace pauses, “Her friends are having a party tomorrow. She said I should bring you. Sound good?”

“Sounds great,” Jace says. “I look forward to finally meeting the famous Kimmie McAdams.”

“Famous?” Biffy asks with a chuckle. “Maybe she’d like to think so, but—“

“Come on, Biff,” Jace says, “You talk to me about Kimmie almost as much as you talk about Lee. And you known her for, what, twenty years? Can’t blame me for wanting to meet the girl.”

“Well, she wants to meet you too,” Biffy says, “But you’re not allowed to ask her to tell you embarrassing stories about me from Kindergarten, we clear?” Just then, Lee walks into the room. “Hey, Lee,” Biffy says, moving the phone away from his mouth. “Party at Kimmie’s tomorrow.”

Lee nods with a smile. “Ok, cool,” he says.

“Lee’s coming?” Jace asks.

“Looks like it,” Biffy says.

“Alright,” Jace says. He sounds cheerful. “See you tomorrow then.”

“See you tomorrow,” Biffy says, and hangs up. Jace hasn’t told Biffy he loves him since that one time over the weekend; Biffy’s not sure if it was just a slip of the tongue or if Jace got worried when Biffy didn’t say it back, but since Biffy has no plans to reciprocate, even if the subject should come up again, he doesn’t ask.

The next day, Jace comes over in the evening so that he and Biffy can head to Kimmie’s party together. Lee is coming to the party from work, so he’s not at the house when they leave, but he texts Biffy that they’ll meet up later.

When Biffy and Jace arrive at Kimmie’s penthouse apartment, the party is pretty much in full swing. It’s still too cold for many people to be outside in the balcony—although Biffy would bet the cost of his tuition that Kimmie is out back in the latest fashion combination without a jacket despite the freezing weather—but inside the living room, and kitchen is filled with people. Biffy had brought a six-pack of beer and he sticks four in the fridge, opens one for himself, and hands one to Jace. Jace takes his beer with one hand and puts the other hand around Biffy’s waist, and they weave through the people inside, walking through the house and out to the backyard. Sure enough, Kimmie is standing by the balcony drinking cherry vodka along with her new Glamazon friends from college.

“Always hiding out from your own parties,” Biffy says.

“What can I say?” Kimmie says. “I like it out here. Anyway, not like you’re acting like the life of the party.”

“I just got here. And you wanted to meet Jace,” Biffy reminds her, “And he wanted to meet you.”

“Yeah, of course,” Kimmie says. “Good to meet you.” Jace lets go of Biffy’s waist to delicately shake Kimmie’s hand, but when he lets go his arm immediately finds its way around Biffy again, fingers skimming low over the back pocket of his jeans. They make small talk for a few minutes and then Biffy asks Jace if he’ll go get them some more beer from inside. It’s a pretty obvious pretense to give him a few minutes along to talk to Kimmie, but Jace doesn’t seem to mind and disappears into the house.

“So,” Biffy says.

“What?” Kimmie asks. “You want my opinion?”

“You got one?” Biffy asks.

Kimmie shrugs. She scoops a pastry from a silver plate and offers it to Biffy. “Well, he’s not Lee.” Her tone is light, not serious, but Biffy just nods. “C’mon, Biff, do you really like this guy the same way he likes you? I mean, he looks at you in a way you simply don’t look at him.”

“Shut up,” Biffy says.

Then Kimmie looks past him, over his shoulder. “Speak of the devil.” Biffy turns to see Lee coming from the apartment. “Hi, Lee.”

“Hey, Kimmie,” Lee says. “Hi, Biffy.” Biffy says hello. Just then, Jace comes back out of the house with the rest of the six-pack.

“Lee,” Jace says. “Hi. Didn’t know you were out here; there’s only three beers left in this one.” He takes one of the bottles and hands it to Biffy.

“You can have mine,” Biffy says quickly, when it becomes clear that Jace isn’t going to offer Lee his own or offer to go inside to get a fourth. “I’m good for a while,” he says, ignoring the fact that he was the one who had asked Jace to go get the drinks in the first place. He gives Lee the beer and Lee smiles when he takes it. Then Jace slings an arm over Biffy’s shoulder, kisses him on the cheek.

Lee watches them, holding his beer but not drinking it. “Jace,” he says, scowling darkly. “Great to see you.” He doesn’t even try to match his tone or expression to his words.

“How are you doing, Lee?” Biffy asks. He leans into Jace and mutters something about Lee’s job keeping him late, nothing about his recent break-up. It doesn’t do much to ease the tension.

“Okay,” Lee says. “I’m actually pretty tired, I was just stopping by to say hi, but I think I’m going to head home.”

“Come on, dude,” Biffy says, “Stick around a little while.” Lee hesitates, and Biffy reaches out and touches his shoulder. “Lee?”

“Yeah, okay,” Lee says. “I could stay for a while. I’m going to go see who’s here. You’ll be here?” Biffy nods, and Lee goes inside, leaving Biffy and Jace outside alone. Jace turns to face Biffy, kisses him deeply on the lips. When he pulls away, he takes a step back and meets Biffy’s eyes.

“He and his girlfriend just broke up,” Biffy finally explains to Jace. “So, it’s been that kind of week for him, you know? Nothing personal,” he says, even though he’s sure that Lee’s disdain for Jace is absolutely personal.

“Oh hey, I keep meaning to ask you,” Jace says, like he’s making an effort to come off as sounding casual, “What’s the deal with you two?”

“What deal?” Biffy asks. “We’ve been friends since High School. We have lived together since last year.”

“Yeah, but that’s not all,” Jace said. “So, what’s up? Did you used to date?”

“Oh, no, no we never—.” Biffy laughs nervously.

“Wait,” Jace says, a look of dawning realization on his face, “No. No, you didn’t date. That’s the guy. God, I’m an idiot.”

“What guy?” Biffy asks, although there’s no point in feigning ignorance.

“The guy you said you were getting over. On like our second date,” Jace says. “I don’t know how I didn’t figure it out. Lee’s the guy who fucked you up and—.”

“Nobody fucked me up,” Biffy argues, but Jace’s not listening; he just keeps talking, his voice rising in volume, sounding more and more angry.

“You said that the guy you were into was into guys sometimes, just not you, and you even told me Lee’s been with guys before. And it’s not like your life doesn’t revolve around him anyway.”

“That’s not true,” Biffy says quietly. The door into the apartment is open and he notices a couple people looking out, trying to see what is going on. “Come on, man, you wanna go somewhere else and talk about this?”

“No,” Jace says. “Let’s talk about it here. I figured it was just some dude, and then it turns out to be your goddamn best friend. Who you’ve been ignoring me for all week because he’s suddenly single.”

“It’s not because he’s single,” Biffy protests, “It’s because he just got dumped. I know you guys don’t like each other but—.”

“Hey, I didn’t have a problem with him until he had a problem with me,” Jace says. Biffy rolls his eyes. “And I wouldn’t have a problem with him if you weren’t fucking lying to me about how you feel about him.”

“ _Felt_ ,” Biffy says, knowing that he’s lying just like Jace had accused him of, although at this point he’s not sure he cares if Jace figures out the truth. “How I _felt_ about him.”

“Whatever, I’m going to go get another beer. Are you coming back inside?”

“I think I’ll stay out here,” Biffy says with a growl. Bad timing, because Lee chooses that exact moment to walk back outside.

“Of course you will,” Jace says. He turns to walk inside and bumps into Biffy’s big frame as he goes. It’s probably not intentional, but the impact is hard, enough to be a push if not with the effort needed to be a shove against a big guy like Biffy. It catches Biffy off guard, though, knocks him off balance. Biffy hears one of the onlookers from the door gasp as he stumbles backward.

“Get away from him!” Lee yells. And then he stands between Jace and Biffy, looking defiantly into the other boy’s eyes.

“I’m going home,” Jace says. He storms into the party and disappears. Biffy watches him go without saying anything, and then turns back to Lee, who is not looking even the littlest bit guilty.

“What the hell, Ping?” he says.

“Sorry,” Lee says. The vindictive look on his face is gone, and he sounds somewhat sheepish. “I saw you fighting and I didn’t know what was going on.”

“Nothing,” Biffy says. “Though I’m pretty sure Jace and I are done.”

“Good,” Lee says, the dark look returning to his eyes, and Biffy glares at him.

“No thanks to you.”

“Sorry,” Lee says again. “You wanna go back inside?”

“I’m going home,” Biffy says. He brushes past Lee and goes through the apartment, stopping to tell Kimmie he’s leaving on his way out. He looks back when he’s on the other side of the living room, and Lee is still standing out on the balcony, watching him.

He walks home, because Jace drove them over. As he walks, he thinks about Jace, and Lee, and he reaches the house feeling pissed off. He’s annoyed with Lee, and with Jace for accusing him of still having feelings for Lee and lying about it, and he’s mostly annoyed with himself because everything Jace said was true.

There’s a couple of beers and most of a bottle of tequila that he thinks he remembers Jenny and her friends were drinking earlier that evening when he and Jace left for Kimmie’s. He pulls some money out of his wallet, leaves it on the counter for her, and takes the alcohol into the living room.

Biffy’s well on his way to drunk but not feeling any less angry when Lee gets home half an hour later. He stands up when Lee walks in, can feel himself swaying a little from the combination of beer and tequila, but he can’t bring himself to care. “You’re an asshole,” he says when Lee comes around the sofa to stand a few feet away from him. Biffy puts the beer in his hand down on the coffee table and uses the hand that had been holding it to point at Lee to emphasize his words. “You wanted to be a big hero, is that it?”

“No,” Lee says, sounding calmer than he had back at Kimmie’s house. “Biffy, look—“

“You look,” Biffy tells him angrily. “None of this was any of your business and then you just had to get involved anyway.”

“None of this is any of my business, huh,” Lee says. Then, accusingly, “So the whole thing with you and Jace back at Kimmie’s had nothing to do with the fact that you’re in love with me.”

Biffy laughs bitterly, tips his head back until he’s looking directly at the ceiling. The room spins around him, and he looks back at Lee, swaying slightly. “I’m not in love with you,” he tells Lee. Even to his own ears it sounds unconvincing.

Lee puts a hand out and trails his fingertips lightly down Biffy’s big arm. “Look,” he says quietly, “It’s okay.”

No, it’s not, Biffy thinks, It’s fucked up and veering sharply into soap opera territory, and those always end with someone getting shot while some woman wearing too much eye make-up cries. He’s always been a poetic drunk. A poetic drunk who should probably stop watching so much Telemundo while he studies.

Before he can say any of this, however, Lee’s lips are on his, the hand that had been touching Biffy’s arm curling around his bicep while the other finds the back of Biffy’s neck. Biffy’s too startled to do anything for a moment, and then he’s kissing Lee back, parting his lips for Lee’s tongue, turning his head enough to fit their mouths together, reaching up to thread his fingers into Lee’s hair.

Then he puts both hands on Lee’s small chest and shoves.

Lee steps backwards and Biffy brushes past him and heads up the stairs. He can hear Lee say his name, but he doesn’t look back. In his bedroom he considers simply lying down in his clothes, but he’s wearing jeans and the same thick jacket he had worn to the party and then walked home in the cold in, so instead he strips down to his t-shirt and boxers and slides under the blankets. He’s too keyed up to sleep, so instead he stares at the ceiling, feeling slightly dizzy.

Biffy remembers the feel of Lee’s lips. Like he does every time Lee shows some sign that he might be interested, Biffy wonders if maybe Lee has finally realized that he feels the way Biffy does. But he’s drunk and angry and figures Lee is drunk and angry as well, and that’s why he did what he did. Even if a kiss is harder to explain than the usual hints of reciprocation, Biffy is sure there must be a way to explain it away. But he’ll figure it out in the morning. He falls asleep still staring at the ceiling.


	15. Chapter 15

In the morning, Biffy wakes up feeling like his head and mouth are full of cotton, but unfortunately with full memory of everything that had happened the night before. He rolls over and smashes his face into the pillow. Finally, he rolls over again and gets up. He digs around in the pocket of his jeans, a denim puddle on the floor, and pulls his cell phone out of his pocket. He doesn’t look at it until he’s pulled the jeans back on, put on a t-shirt, and is on his way down the stairs.

There are two text messages, both from Jace. The first says _, “Give me a call. I want to work this out,”_ and the second reads, _“I’ll be in the lab all day. Come find me if you want to talk. I love you.”_ Biffy groans. He gets downstairs. The living room and kitchen are both empty, but there’s a pot of coffee steaming. Biffy pours himself a cup and sits down at the kitchen table.

Biffy hadn’t expected to have the option of avoiding Lee in the morning; he figured Lee would be downstairs when he woke up, waiting to discuss what had happened the night before, to apologize or to pretend it hadn’t happened or to remind Biffy that he was Lee’s friend and wasn’t that enough? But all of the rooms are empty, and when Biffy listens closely, there are no sounds coming from upstairs either.

Instead, Biffy realizes he has a choice. He can go find Lee, hash out whatever it is that’s going on between them, take the risk of Lee telling him that it was just a mistake, that he’s still not interested. That he was really drunk the night before, and trying to deal with breaking up with Allie, who is his one true love that he needs to get back so they can get married and have two kids. That he’s glad Biffy is his friend.

Of course, there’s another option. He can go to the lab and talk to Jace. They’ll work things out. Jace will tell Biffy he loves him, and Biffy will nod like it’s a suitable replacement for not saying it back. Things will go back to the way they were before, except that Jace will know that Biffy is in love with Lee, and things won’t be the same between any of them. Biffy pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and looks at the text messages again. He stares at them until his coffee cup is empty. He wonders what Lee would say if he got back together with Jace. Probably that Jace could be his date to Lee and Allie’s wedding.

Biffy takes his mug over to the counter and places it in the sink. He stands there, still holding his phone. Then he drops it on the counter, picks up his jacket, and leaves. He locks the door of the house and looks toward where his car is parked in the driveway, then decides to walk up to campus instead.

It takes him about twenty minutes, bracing himself against the morning wind and shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket to keep them warm. When he reaches the edge of campus, Biffy realizes he has no idea where he’s going. He looks up the hill, toward the PT lab. Then he remembers that Lee was having some kind of study group meeting that morning in the coffee shop, getting ready for midterms coming up.

When Biffy walks in to the brightly lit coffee shop, unbuttoning his jacket as the heater hits him full blast, the first person he sees is Jenny, working an early shift as usual. She waves at him. He almost goes over to the counter to talk to her, prolonging the time until he has to talk to Lee, when he sees Lee out of the corner of his eye. He’s at a table with several other people, hunched over their books, but when he sees Biffy he stands up and walks toward him.

“Hey,” Biffy says, awkwardly when Lee reaches him. He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, looking past Lee to where a couple of people in his study group have turned to look at them. Biffy wonders if any of them were present for Lee screaming at Biffy’s ex-boyfriend the night before. He suspects at least one of them was, from the way she cranes her neck to get a better view.

“How are you?” Lee asks. His tone is oddly formal, and it does nothing to ease the tension. Biffy realizes that this was a mistake; no matter what they have to say to each other, he’s not going to make Lee talk about it in the middle of a crowded coffee shop on a Saturday morning.

“Okay,” Biffy says. “I was just walking by and I figured I’d stop by and say hi. To you and Jenny.”

“Oh,” Lee says. “Well, hi. Jenny’s at the counter.”

“Yeah,” Biffy says, “Hi.” Neither them speak for a minute, Lee staring straight at Biffy and Biffy looking around the coffee shop—at his study group, at Jenny behind the counter, everywhere but Lee’s face.

Finally, Lee speaks again. “So, listen,” he says, “I don’t know if you want to talk about last night, about what happened after the party, but maybe we could go someplace else?”

“Yeah, sure,” Biffy says warily. “Wherever you want.”

“Great,” Lee says. Biffy has no clue what to expect from their conversation; he can’t get a read on Lee’s tone. Then Lee cups a hand to Biffy’s cheek, fingertips pressing along his jaw, thumb against his cheekbone, and Biffy suddenly has a much better idea. He feels his face grow warm, and it’s not from the heater in the coffee shop.

“Biffy, can I—.” Lee begins, and when Biffy nods, the side of his face resting against the warm skin of Lee’s palm, Lee doesn’t bother to finish the sentence, just leans in and kisses him.

The kiss is brief, a chaste, closed mouthed press of their lips together. They are in public after all. But when Lee pulls away, the heat in his eyes promises something far less innocent to follow. Biffy hopes it’s sooner rather than later. Someone in Lee’s study group wolf whistles, and Biffy ducks his head, forehead against Lee’s shoulder for a moment until he’s sure his cheeks aren’t flushed. Lee laughs.

“I’ll meet you back here in thirty seconds,” Lee says when they step apart, and Biffy can’t help but grin at him as he nods in agreement. Lee walks back to his study group to tell them that he’s leaving, and Biffy goes over to the counter to say hello to Jenny.

“Well, that’s new,” she says, smiling. He smiles too, eyes crinkling at the corners with the strength of it, and she says, “I heard from Tina that Allie and Lee broke up because he wanted to be with someone else. I don’t know if he told her or if she just figured it out, but I’m glad it’s you.”

“Yeah,” Biffy says. “Me too.” He can’t stop looking over at Lee, and from the way Lee keeps catching his eye as he talks to his classmates, Biffy thinks that Lee might be feeling the same way.

“What about Jace?” Jenny asks. Biffy shrugs. He’ll have to talk to Jace eventually, but nothing he would say could make Biffy want to be with him over Lee, and Jenny knows it. She pats Biffy on the arm gently. “You’ll figure it out,” she says. Lee walks over to them, holding his laptop in one hand with a bag of books slung over his shoulder. Jenny grins at him, pours them both steaming cups of coffee, puts cream and sugar in one of them, and pushes them across the counter.

“On the house,” she says. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“Ready?” Lee asks, picking up the cream and sugar laden cup and thanking Jenny. Biffy takes his own cup and follows Lee outside. They walk close, like they always have. Outside, the wind is cold and blustery. Lee wraps an arm around Biffy’s torso and pulls him closer like they’ve been doing it all their lives. Biffy watches their breath puff out in front of them, visible and mingling together in white clouds of vapor.

“What made you change your mind?” Biffy asks, finally. He realizes as soon as he says it that he probably could’ve come up with something that didn’t sound so much like he was desperately in love with Lee, even if it’s true, but Lee doesn’t seem to care.

Lee laughs, big and loud and happy, and Biffy grins. He tilts his face up and Lee kisses him before he answers, a little deeper than the kiss in the coffee shop. “I didn’t,” Lee says. “Well, I didn’t think about it like that, anyway. Like I was changing my mind. I just… realized. That I wanted to be with you.”

“I’m glad you did,” Biffy says, and Lee laughs again.

“I know,” Lee tells him. “Now, you can stop moping all the time.” Biffy joins his laughter, stopping only when Lee turns to kiss him again. They walk back toward the house, Lee’s arm still around Biffy, and Biffy slides his own arm around Lee’s shoulders. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lee smile.


	16. Epilogue

At the end of their final semester, Cam and Holger’s roommates have a party. Plenty of their classmates from High School show up. Steve and Evan from the football team, as well as Brandy, Cyrus and Goob from the Dudes of Darkness, Tina and Jenny are laughing in the corner, and even Chaz Monerainian was excitedly telling everyone about his newest project as a local news presenter. It won’t be the last party of the year, or even the last party at their house; finals aren’t for another two weeks. But it’s warm and the sun is out and when Lee and Biffy arrive they’re not surprised to find Cam out back putting hot dogs on his grill. He uses his spatula to flip the burgers that have been cooking and then puts two of them on buns with lettuce and condiments and hands them to Biffy when he walks over. Biffy gives one of them to Lee, who takes a bite of the hamburger and then leans in and kisses Biffy, getting some ketchup smeared between their mouths.

Cam focuses intently on his grill until they’re finished kissing, then says, “So Goldstein, hermano, you gonna miss this place?”

Biffy glances at Lee before he answers. “We’ve still got a couple of weeks before graduation,” he says. “And we’re staying up here until we’ve got somewhere else to live anyway.” His parents were coming up to see the commencement ceremony, and they’d asked him a few nights ago if he would be coming home with them until he heard back from the jobs he had applied for and got an apartment, but he had decided to stay in town for the time being. Most of the jobs he applied for were closer to the school anyway. And of course, Lee and his friends had decided to stay for the summer too.

“Cam! You promised Holger you will be serving Holger’s whale liver hamburgers too! They are most delicious in Holger’s country! Lee, you and Biffy need to try Faherwasserlubhem whale burger too!”

“Yeah, yeah, _ese_ , I’m on it…” Cam sighs.

The sun is going down—late, now that it’s almost summer—and Lee and Biffy are next to each other on one of the benches that Holger bought at some flea market to shove up against the patio table in place of chairs. There’s nobody else outside although the back door is open; even Cam has shut off the grill and gone back into the house with the others. Lee has just come back from the kitchen with a couple of bottles of beer from inside when Biffy’s cell phone rings. He stands up and walks away from the door to take the call, so as to mute the sounds of the party going on inside.

When he gets off the phone, he walks back over to the table and sits down next to Lee again. He puts his cell phone back in the pocket of his jeans and puts one of his hands over Lee’s where it is resting on the table.

“Everything okay?” Lee asks, turning his hand over so their palms are touching.

“I just got a call back from one of the jobs I applied for,” Biffy says. “They want me to start in three weeks.”

“Three weeks…” Lee begins, looking up as he mentally calculates when that would be. “Right after graduation,” he says. “So much for summer.”

“Yeah—” Biffy says, and then Lee cuts him off.

“No, wait,” Lee says quickly, “That’s not what I meant. I meant congratulations! That’s really awesome.” He leans in to kiss Biffy, and Biffy laughs.

“I know what you meant,” he tells Lee. “And I know we were planning to keep living here together this summer. But the job’s only two hours away. I can come back here on weekends. And you can come stay with me whenever you want.”

“That’s great,” Lee says, smiling brightly.

“Thanks,” Biffy says. “Hey, I think I’m gonna go tell Kimmie. You’ll still be outside when I come back?”

“Think so,” Lee says, “It’s nice out here.”

Biffy sits for a minute longer, holding Lee’s hand, leaning against him as the sun sets behind them and the sky grows dark as the party goes on inside the house. “Yeah,” he says, “it is.”

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the chapters of this fic while watching the show, and I have to say, I enjoyed a lot the chemistry between Lee and Biffy from the very beginning. Much more natural than Tina and Lee, and somehow fitting, you know? Like opposites attract.
> 
> Anyways, you are welcome to leave Kudos and comment if you liked this. Thanks for reading!


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